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Physically Challenged
Can a man be a Dominant if he is confined to a wheelchair?
This question surprised me. One has nothing to do with the other. Dominance is an aspect of the inner self. It is not based on physical size, prowess, strength, intellect, or physical agility. Dominance is more about how the mind of the individual views and responds to the world around them. This is the same for the submissive. There is no correct body type, hair style, eye color, height, weight, or any other physical indices necessary to 'be' one or the other.
Success as a Dominant or a submissive is often based on the interior strength, will, and desire of the individual. We are all delivered into the world with a pre-formed physical package. A body we cannot alter or change. For some of us, this may include physical limitations that inhibit movement, etc. Other events occur that change our physical status through injury or disease. None of these physical changes alters who we are inside. In many cases, these challenges serve to clarify or distill the individual down into a purer form.
For many people, dire events or challenges force them to see 'minor' events as minor events and process them without the margins that are so prevalent in the lives of people who have never faced true problems or crises.
Value is not within the physical package that you present to the world, but in taking what you have and using it to its fullest potential. Often, when one aspect is reduced, other sides of the self strengthen. Such as a blind person whose other senses sharpen with the removal of sight. An individual with physical limitations often must be more creative to work around the limitation to still achieve their goal.
If you are a new Dominant or submissive with significant physical limitations, these limitations should not be allowed to prevent you from seeking out a relationship of the type and nature that will give you fulfillment. The percentages of physically challenged people within the BDSM community are the same as those within all of society. Do express yourself clearly and honestly when conversing with others. Some physical limitations are so extensive that they will alter dramatically some of the physical aspects of BDSM dramatically. A submissive with physical problems cannot scene in the same way as one who has no physical problems. They will simply see things differently. A Dominant with mobility problems who wishes to scene physically 'beyond' their personal physical ability may need a 'scening partner'.
These issues are not insurmountable. They are merely challenges. The important thing is to approach the issue creatively. Something you may consider to be detrimental may be viewed entirely differently by someone else.
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Retrieved April 2026 https://web.archive.org/web/20120127132648/http://www.steel-door.com/physically_challenged.htm.
Also found May 2026 https://web.archive.org/web/20010413004217/http://www.steel-door.com/physically_challenged.htm.