Command Training

Command Training

To be able to readily call forth, evoke, exact, or compel. The art of command requires the ability to deliver an instruction into the very center of a submissive's response centers. This delivery of a command 'package' can remain a surface command which requires a submissive to think, analyze, and choose a response appropriate to the command, or it may exist deeper within the more automatic response systems and may not require a submissive conscious thought, but instead results in immediate action without deliberation. Training a submissive to 'hear' a command without igniting a defensive or conflictive reaction is a delicate and deliberate process. In general terms, a submissive 'hears' a constant stream of fragmented commands from those that the submissive 'listens for' during the course of normal life. The people most often in a position of domination over a submissive are parents, siblings, children, spouses, friends, and bosses. In addition, a submissive may have a submissive response or hear clergy with a strong voice, astrologers, radio and TV personalities, doctors, hypnotists, or any person in a position of authority who has a compelling or dynamic charismatic presence that attracts that submissive's attention and focus.

Many submissives do not knowingly or willfully consciously 'choose' the people who take a position of authority in that submissive's life. A submissive may simply feel a 'compulsion' to aid, help, assist, augment, or otherwise support a person even if and when they do not actively admire or like that person. Frequently, the 'good nature' (compulsion to give) of a submissive will lead to feelings within that submissive of being used by the person in authority without proper credit or a reciprocal care and attention for the feelings or needs of that submissive. This can lead to resentment, conflict, and confusion when the submissive cannot actively identify 'why' they have 'helped' or 'listened to, taken the advice of' or otherwise catered to the will of another person. As a submissive ages, they frequently learn techniques that help them avoid or otherwise block the constant invasive stream of disjointed and often chaotic commands radiating at them from numerous sources. Some submissives use techniques of overlay to quite literally overlay old commands within themselves, many dating from early childhood. To create a supportive atmosphere for such a command block, the submissive may seek out and join a small group whose focus is on one singular aspect or mutual problem. This support group encourages, through constant reinforcement, the laying in of a new command to replace or diminish the efficacy of the older command. A gathering of 'like-mindedness' can strengthen a submissive's ability to delay or negate new commands, allowing a submissive a measure of control. A submissive may also find themselves deliberately limiting 'access' to their private environments, such as through the usage of answering machines, etc.... Sometimes they arrive at a point where they note when they feel the most 'pressed' to comply. Recognition of behaviors, triggers, attitude, and situations allows the submissive to make reasoned instead of responsive choices, sometimes for the first time in their lives.

Submissives are frequently 'aware' of their usage by others. They may have been told that they lack willpower, conviction, or strength. They hear that they are weak or stupid. They know that they respond to a compulsion that they cannot accurately convey to others; in lieu of alternative information, many submissives believe that their actions of compliance are evidence of failure, weakness, and stupidity. Frequently, a submissive will make numerous attempts to combat their compulsions only to find that in some way they seem to return to a similar spot or position over and over. This repetition may lead to depression, feelings of intense failure, and significantly reduced self-worth or esteem.

When a Dominant enters a submissive's life, the above components are often at full strength. The submissive may have an almost overwhelming desire to find 'voice' coupled with their lifelong experience of diminishing punishment, abuse, and usage by those in authority over them. This conflict may manifest as hesitation, anxiety, acting out, or other methods of 'escape' from the source voice now present in their life. If the Dominant assumes an attitude of 'do this or else', they may ignite a defensive posturing by the submissive. This may exhibit as a block or 'failure to listen' within the submissive. This block, even if only partially effective, will serve to diminish or negate the efficacy of the Dominant's command and may erode the submissives 'positive belief in that Dominant. If the submissive can successfully relegate this new 'voice' to 'part of' the group of authority figures in that submissive's past who have violated them, then that submissive will begin to think thoughts of diminishment relating to the Dominant. This 'removal of status' will eventually destroy the relationship. A Dominant can take a submissive by forcible command, but they cannot keep a submissive using forcible command.

One of the better methods of training to command is a slow, deliberate building of trust, confidence, positive outlook, positive self-esteem, and mutual respect. At some point, the Dominant 'invites' the submissive to engage in a specific learning or training process. This type of action is frequently at total variance with any experience in that submissive's past and may present no memory triggers of negation, which allows the submissive to willfully and often happily comply. The Dominant can then involve the submissive fully in actively creating actions or behaviors that complement or are desirable. A submissive being trained in a supportive atmosphere where they feel they are in large part responsible for a successful result will often encourage that submissive to make personal efforts to succeed above and beyond the expectations or parameters of the original training. To the submissive, this success may represent their first recognition of themselves in a positive or winning position, while at the same time, they are fully aware of the presence of their still extant compulsion to obey. It may be the very first time that these experiences 'marry' within the spirit of the submissive.

If the submissive presents a posture of 'conflict to command,' they may be testing the Dominant to 'view' response. If the Dominant 'reacts' in a manner consistent with the experience of the submissive in former conflicts from their past, then the Dominant may become the 'same as' in the mind of the submissive. To escape this possibility, the Dominant should formulate in advance the manner in which they desire to respond. In addition, they should discuss this response with the submissive at that earlier time (such as when negotiating the relationship in the very beginning) and make sure that the submissive is fully aware of the nature of what that response will be. When or if the conflict presents, then the Dominant should execute the response exactly. This response should be some form of cease-fire. The Dominant may wish to excuse the submissive from their presence and discontinue training or any form of specific scene activity. This may mean simply that they return the submissive to vanilla status and instruct that submissive to focus their attention and now free time on exploring how and why they have made this choice. They should not impose language of shame, retribution, embarrassment, or guilt on the submissive but simply recognize that the submissive is exhibiting behavior consistent with vanilla experience and is therefore in what might be called vanilla space. If these actions continue or are frequent occurrences, then the Dominant may choose to release the submissive until that submissive has resolved the reasons for their actions of conflict or disobedience. Some submissives entering the lifestyle desire to have their 'submission' and 'vanilla' too. When they want it and how they want it. This may be an action to 'limit' the power or influence of the Dominant in their life. They may choose this path by selecting a Dominant who is at a great distance from them physically or in some other way separated from daily contact and direction over them. It frequently takes many years for a submissive to release or relinquish their lifelong defenses and actions or to fully emerge as a submissive and sometimes as a Dominant. To 'feel' that one is submissive does not mean that the individual is submissive. Some submissives discover that they are latent Dominants after many years of actively experiencing life as a submissive. Other submissives find that they cannot completely release their need to control, nor completely vacate their desire to submit, and at some point, they clarify their position as truthfully being 'between' or switching between the roles based on circumstance and desire.

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