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Reputation
Reputation
One's good name is the condition of being regarded as worthy. One's place in public (community) esteem. One's character.
Your reputation within this community began the moment you decided to explore it and made your first contact. It is your measure, how you are viewed, will be viewed by other members of this community. Guard your reputation well. Poor behavior and actions unbecoming will be noted and remembered. Your actions count here! The BDSM community protects and guards itself against those who might enter and use or hide within the community to access and commit actions of abuse, disrespect, injury, damage, or death to other members of this community. The BDSM community has a -0- tolerance for abuse in any form.
Present yourself with dignity. Offer common courtesy to others and politely withdraw from situations of internal bickering, politics, gossip, ridicule, and any other form of divisive behavior. You represent both the community and yourself. Petty squabbles are childish and expressions of immaturity and fear. If you enter into and engage in such arguments and scenes, you lower yourself and your reputation.
If you are a member of an online Internet community, chat group, or any assemblage, remember that the external or 'real life' community is close-knit. For safety, protection, community, and social reasons, information is shared worldwide. Actions, attitudes, and commentary you use online are noted. The limitations of computers allow only words. How and what you say is partly used to judge your reputation. What you do and say online can cross into the real-life community and earn you a negative reputation.
Be wary of extreme attitude posturing. Abrupt, caustic, demeaning, rude, lewd, crude, or disrespectful behavior to another community member is viewed by many real-life BDSMers as a sign of a poseur—someone pretending or role-playing what they think is the reality of a D/s attitude.
Many people's sole information source about the lifestyle before finding community rooms or websites online has come from slanted, salacious, pornographic material, and other equally erroneous portrayals by the national media. Believing such a one-dimensional image is like asking a person to understand the internal workings of a nuclear submarine merely by looking at pictures of the outside of the ship. What you may have seen or heard is probably surface at best and almost certainly inadequate or completely wrong.
Before adopting a 'role', manner, or attitude, investigate and educate yourself about the lifestyle, the people involved in the lifestyle, and the realities of how they live their lives and handle themselves. Remember that everyone is new when they begin. You are not expected to know more than you know. You are expected to offer respect to others and continue to broaden and enhance your understanding of the lifestyle and ultimately yourself.
Many things occur within D/s relationships and scenes, but... but, we love, cherish, trust, value, and respect our partners. They are of supreme value to us, not diminished value. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Taking on a 'screen-name' does not give you the right to verbally or emotionally abuse anyone, in the lifestyle or not.
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Extreme Space, The Domination and Submission Handbook, Safe, Sane and
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Archivist Note: Email links (steeibtrfl@aol.com, steelbfl@sonic.net) are no longer valid and have been omitted from this archive. The bookstore link was for a heritage site that is no longer active and has been omitted from this archive. OP's works were not found on the successor live site. Also, the discussion group on Yahoo Groups is no longer available and was not found on archive.org.
To purchase books by the OP, please search your preferred bookseller by title or by the OP's noms de plume: "Mistress Steel" and "F.R.R. Mallory".
Retrieved April 2026 https://web.archive.org/web/20120127132721/http://www.steel-door.com/reputation.htm.
Also found May 2026 https://web.archive.org/web/20010417144212/http://www.steel-door.com/reputation.htm.
Reputation
The overall quality, character, or standing of a person or entity (like a company) as judged by the general public or a specific group.
The common opinion, esteem, or "good name" someone holds.Synonyms: repute, name, standing, stature, status, prestige, character, renown, fame, esteem, honor