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Who is Real?
Analysing who is real, who is play, who is cyber, etc., is a failure. Essentially, when most people begin to seek out and explore this side of themselves, they do so tentatively, with tongue in cheek. They are seeking to fulfill a distant fantasy, an unrealized dream. It isn't truly real. This does not mean they are not real. It merely means they are on a different step in the staircase and should be treated with the respect of one human to another. Exploring oneself is a very difficult process. We don't win by reaching the goal line. There is no goal line.
Life evolves.
While it is true that you may feel disheartened by those who seem to desire only to play on a part-time basis, this does not mean you can disparage these people. For whatever reason, that is where they are at the moment. As long as these individuals express their position with clarity and honesty, you must and should respect their choices as you would wish them to respect your choices.
In my experience, true female dominants are quite rare compared to the number of men seeking them. On one hand, this is because they must face and live with the diminishment of themselves in the eyes of virtually all of society. Women are quite social beings. Lack of a support net can be wrenchingly painful to them. In addition, often they are placed in a position of diminished femininity, or made to feel unattractive because of their manly strength. This keeps many strong women from ever exploring this side of themselves.
Often young in life, these women express their strength. The people in their lives find this distasteful and find other things to pick at, to deflate this woman. Often, this becomes a cycle of verbal abuse generally connected to a woman's physical body. This is one of a woman's most vulnerable areas. Often she may be attractive yet made to feel ugly - often she becomes what she is told...ugly! Women are trained to submit to society, to its rules and conduct far more so than men. They are told to equate worth with youthful beauty.
To sunder these voices, these women must step up and pass virtually everyone in their lives. To seek and embrace that which feels natural is a battle unlike anything else they have ever experienced. They have to claim themselves and name themselves. They must learn to be enough alone. Rescue themselves and prosper in their own right before seeking the pleasures of a mate.
As I said ~ they are rare indeed!!!
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Retrieved May 2026 https://web.archive.org/web/20120111054804/http://www.steel-door.com/Who_is_Real.html.