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By Robert | 2:47 PM EDT, Thu April 23, 2026

STEELNEWS

Black Marble Bar

Hints for Long Distance Cyber or Phone Training...

(This is primarily oriented toward male submissives! It is designed to offer ideas, hints, and suggestions based on some common male fetishes such as dog training, cross-dressing, light humiliation, etc. In my opinion, nothing adequately replaces real-life training (in person), but since so many cannot do that, some alternatives can be used by the creative Dominant and submissive!)

I will assume here that your relationships are to this point exclusively cyber/phone. I will further assume that this is by your willful choice and desire (to keep a distance) . . . When your submissive is at a distance from your physical reach, you immediately become confronted with problems. You have indicated that your submissives are new to the lifestyle and that you have already set them up with informational and educational activities. Without knowing them individually, I will make a further assumption that you are speaking with men who live independently, are gainfully employed, and serious in their consideration of this lifestyle.

Here are a few concrete suggestions for the commencement of training at a distance. First, the Dominant needs to introduce the concept of command words. This is to give a short list to the submissive of various commands, how they are to be carried out, and why. Refer to my article on Creating Your First Scene for some ideas on a few of them. These commands are to be learned and practiced to future perfection. In real life, the submissive will frequently be naked when executing these commands, and it is a good idea for them to become comfortable with this from the beginning. In addition, they need to begin to view themselves as a slave/sub. This can be addressed by having them create routines that you believe will address these issues. If they live alone, then you should direct them to habits of becoming submissive. This can mean the removal of clothing immediately inside the front door. Their clothing should be neatly folded. Their apartment should be immediately surveyed for cleanliness. You should remind them that they will be crawling through anything on the floor. You expect the rooms to be kept immaculate.

They should attend to cleaning chores in a naked state. At this point, you have not yet even offered them the collar of consideration (the first collar exchanged), but it is still important that they feel somewhat connected. This can be accomplished by the usage of a simple soft rope, which is looped around the neck and knotted. This rope collar can be worn all the time, and the ends should be cut cleanly. (Please indicate safety concerns such as strangulation - though this exists with all collars and necklaces!) It is to be very comfortable, loose enough for the easy insertion of two to three fingers at least. After attending to house cleaning chores, the submissive should go to his/her submissive log book and indicate the jobs accomplished.

They should purchase or obtain an inexpensive 3/4 length mirror (very inexpensive at K-mart), which they can lean against a wall with the bottom resting on the floor. After finishing mandatory chores, they are to return to this mirror and address it as if it were the representation of their Mistress. They should kneel in the manner you have told them to practice and properly greet their Mistress. They should do this aloud, and you may require them to use a tape recorder to document attendance properly. You should acquire a post office box and ask them to do the same so that you can both safely exchange audio and video tapes. The slave should go through all of the commands you have told them to practice to a predetermined time limit. (such as an hour)

This type of visual practice is somewhat humiliating and, at the same time, exciting for them. It allows them to see how they will be seen. Upon completing this task, the slave should spend increasing periods of time practicing crawling. If they need to fix dinner, have them learn to crawl into the kitchen. Crawling and kneeling take practice to grow accustomed to. To protect the knees against hard surfaces, have them buy sports pads to cushion the knee caps. They should rise and attend to the tasks of preparing a meal using the attitude that they are being observed by you and cooking for you. They should be prompt and joyous in their task. Upon finishing the preparations, they are to set one place at the table for you. They are to purchase a dog food bowl set for themselves. They should place the contents of their meal into one bowl and place that bowl on the floor under the table where they would be sitting. They should move into position under the table and eat from the bowl. In most cases, without silverware (they need to earn the right to eat with tools). They should be sitting in a relaxed kneeling position.

After the meal (they should drink from the bowl without lifting it), they should ask to clean up. (They need to use the command words properly) They should then collect the dishes and clean them. This entire ritualized structure, or one like it (designed by you), should be done daily. You may request audio tapes on a daily basis. If they have good funds, you may request videotapes on a daily basis, where you can view their devotion to you. Know that video tapes can be wrongly used, and it may be to their desire to wear a partial face mask to disguise their identity should the tapes fall into the wrong hands. You may desire to send the same tapes back and forth to be retaped. This can alleviate much of this concern. In this way, you may have 4-5 circulating tapes. Also, if your slave has less money, you may have them purchase a Polaroid camera (many pawn shops have them cheaply). They can and should take pictures that you direct. Self-photos can be taken by duct taping the camera down and activating the trigger with something like a broom handle. It takes a bit of practice, but it is very doable.

If your submissive enjoys cross-dressing, you should require them to go to a mall store (for large women) and openly purchase several pairs of panties. You can direct the details of this and verify that your directions are followed by having the submissive/slave audioly record their adventure. (This means a tiny tape recorder. You can have them tell the sales girl that the panties are for them, etc., especially if they are into humiliation. These panties may be required for the submissive/slave to sleep in daily if you wish. (It is a privilege) They should write how attending to this makes them feel in their log.

You can and should send them out on scavenger hunts . . . You should have them acquire a simple plastic divided box (Kmart and Home Stores have them for screws, etc.). Into this box, they should begin to collect things. The simplest are clamps - of all shapes and kinds from everywhere. This is fun and cheap (you will inform them that the collection will be used on them; they should file off all teeth!) They should look for the bizarre, such as they might find in junk or antique stores, too.

See my articles on discipline and punishments for more tips.

If you intend to meet them 2-3 times a month to scene. You may have them arrange specific scenes for you. This can be a theme. If you would like to scene them in a harem, have them scour the thrift shops for an appropriate outfit . . . assemble candles and big pillows, etc. You may want them to find an outfit for you, too. Have them remember the fruits, incense, silk scarves, etc. Tell them to get a tape on belly dancing at the video store and practice a dance for you (maybe a strip tease) . . . well, this should give you some ideas to start. Remember to gauge your ideas on the individual submitter's needs. You discover this through detailed conversations with them. You should not humiliate a submissive who does not like humiliation, etc.

(This was written specifically for those who want to engage in cyber/phone and possibly occasional meetings, but nothing further! For those looking for real-life or daily contact - keep it real - or - BE THERE!)

Black Marble Bar

chamberpic

This web page is owned by F.R.R. Mallory - also known as Mistress Steel, including
all content and logos. This webpage has been redesigned to be easy to read. The
information on this page is designed to inform and entertain; it is not meant to offer
professional or legal advice. The content of this webpage may be excerpted from
Extreme Space, The Domination and Submission Handbook, Safe, Sane and
Consensual, Dangerous Choices, or other books by F.R.R. Mallory; all the content is
copyright-protected under United States and International Copyright Law. Please
click on the book title for information on how you can order a copy of these books
and others by F.R.R. Mallory.

For limited release, re-posting, web-sharing information regarding any of the articles
on this website, or to sign up for the Steel-Door Newsletter direct mailing, please
email SteelBfl@sonic.net.

Black Marble Bar

long text

Archivist Note: Email links (steeibtrfl@aol.com, steelbfl@sonic.net) are no longer valid and have been omitted from this archive. The bookstore link was for a heritage site that is no longer active and has been omitted from this archive. OP's works were not found on the successor live site. Also, the discussion group on Yahoo Groups is no longer available and was not found on archive.org.

To purchase books by the OP, please search your preferred bookseller by title or by the OP's noms de plume: "Mistress Steel" and "F.R.R. Mallory".

Retrieved April 2026 from https://web.archive.org/web/20120422083716/http://www.steel-door.com/Hints.html.
Also found with variations May 2026 https://web.archive.org/web/20010210211123/http://www.steel-door.com/Hints.html.

 

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