Creating Your First Scene

Creating Your First Scene - Part 1

You have met, physically. Maybe after a long online and phone communication. You are full of ideas, thoughts, and concerns. Your submissive/slave is new to the lifestyle, so are you. You have made plans, described your desires, created patterns, discussed limits... but up till now, it has all been long-distance, detached from reality. Now what?

Here are a few simple ideas. First. KIS or keep it simple. Before meeting for a consensual play session, de-emphasize your submissive's expectations. The more you build things up, the more stress you place on your own performance, and the less directed focus you will be able to give to the submissive. Additionally, you may not have a 'Dom Kit' (an assortment of toys, restraints, ropes, etc.).

Focus on attention and directed control. Success depends on what you do and why, not on equipment.

(for this example, I will assume both partners are lifestyle virgins and that the arena of play is a small empty apartment of one of them...)

WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

Training Collar (3-ring preference). Razor, shaving gel, small bowl, small plastic bag.

OPTIONAL:

Lined cuffs for wrists and ankles. Two double-ended latches (to attach cuffs to other rings)

Find a comfortable place to sit. "Assume Spot," You should use this command to draw your submissive to a spot in front of you. Use an even tone of voice. "Formal Presentation Position" This command tells your submissive that s/he is to remove all clothing (have them undress in front of you if this pleases you), fold their clothing neatly, and place it to the side. They should be wearing your collar. If not, you may desire to perform a collaring ceremony. At this point, you may or may not have cuffs for them to wear on wrists and ankles. If you do, they should put these on and assume a present position. The classical position is facing toward the Dominant on their knees, the thighs opened as wide as possible to display their genitals, the chest (breasts) should be naked, and offered with a straight arched back, shoulders back, hands on the thighs, palms cupped upward, buttocks resting on the heels, chin up, and eyes respectfully lowered.

The 'order' of presentation is Chest/breasts, Penis-scrotum/vagina, Anus, and Mouth. The submissive says "_________(owner's name) slave or submissive (whichever), presents the Mistress's or Master's body for her or his inspection. Slave or submissive offers these 'your breasts, your vagina... etc.'" You should nod for each body part so offered, you may inspect by touch if you wish. After each offering (your breasts), you say, "What else do you offer?" The sub/slave will then proceed to the next (your vagina).

The purpose of this training and presentation is to demonstrate and offer the body, to reinforce the sub/slave as to their position or status, remind the sub/slave that their body is owned by the Dominant and is for their usage, entertainment, and pleasure. Gives the Dominant an opportunity to visually inspect the body for changes (weight), injury, damage, and the need for maintenance.

Upon completion of this inspection, you may note that your new sub/slave is not groomed to your satisfaction and decide that such grooming should commence immediately. You will tell your sub/slave, "Get a safety razor, gel, a plastic bag, a small bowl of water, and a towel." "GO!" The sub/slave should rise gracefully and hustle to bring the objects to you. Instruct the sub/slave to lay the plastic bag down and assemble the bowl, gel, and razor before you. You then say "Down-back!" This command is used to tell the sub/slave to lie down on their back (in general, they will lie with legs together, hands along their sides, head to one side. You can then use the command "Open!" This command is used to tell the sub/slave to open their genitals to you (in any situation). At this point, you may commence shaving your sub/slave, or you may instruct them to groom in front of you. When they are cleaned to your desire, they should wipe off and, upon approval from you, remove and dispose of the objects. They should then return and assume your display position of choice. (You can describe the position you desire prior to meeting, so your submissive can practice before a mirror. "Display!"

At this point, your sub/slave should be mentally 'in the zone'. S/he is not permitted open speech, argument, discussion, or debate over what you tell him/her to do. All negotiation of limits occurs OUTSIDE the arena or before play. For purposes of simplicity, you may desire to call your sub/slave simply "slave, pet, slut, worm", and your sub/slave should call you simply "Mistress, Master, Ma'am, Sir." You adjust this to your desire. The removal of a name 'objectifies' them, and the usage of an honorific title reinforces status between you.

The next thing is to intensify their space. This is most easily done by the removal of sight. Use a blindfold or scarf to simply and easily do this. (from this point, I will offer a simple suggested scene - please feel free to elaborate or use it merely for an example) You may have noted (at least) that your sub/slave was improperly groomed, they may also have presented themselves crooked, etc. (minor breaches). These offer you an opportunity for in-play discipline training. You tell them to "present for discipline." This should be a position to offer you their buttocks for spanking, this can be over your knee, across a chair, table, or bed. Their hands should be overhead in a surrender position, locked at the throat if cuffed (away from the area of play). You can then have the sub/slave 'offer' a listing of their errors, any not openly revealed and listed that require you to bring up warrant double discipline.

For each of these offenses, you allocate several 'swats'. At the end of each flurry, your sub/slave should say, "Thank you, Mistress/Master." Since you cannot know the nature of the individual's skin at this point, you spank only to a level of color (always try to avoid bruising - it limits further safe play). This discipline session can be punctuated with commentary from you, depending on whether your sub/slave needs or desires humiliation, etc. At the end of this session, your sub/slave may be quite aroused. With male sub/slaves, you may desire to cross-train by stroking the penis intermittently during spanking - this trains the submissive to associate the pleasure of arousal with the application of pain. You then say "Open!" Again, this command orders your submissive to open their genitals for your inspection. With a female, you insert fingers upon which you might verbally comment on what a 'slut' she is. With a male, you discuss the size of his offering. With a female, you may desire for her to clean your fingers after making them messy in her sloppy vagina.[grins].
 

This wraps up part one of this introduction.

Creating Your First Scene - Part 2

...continued from part one

(Please read part one before reading this section!)

WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

Sterile lubricant, three relatively gentle wooden clothespins, and a leash.

OPTIONAL:

Latex gloves,

While the sub/slave is in discipline position, you may desire to probe their anus as well using the lubricated tip of one finger. With many people, this may be their first anal encounter. Before exploring this region, ensure that you are completely conversant with any medical conditions they may have that might limit play here; in any case, be gentle. It is enjoyable to use language during such explorations. As an example, you might say something like "Do you need to be used as a slave?" or "What a nasty slut you are!" This may sound uncomfortably crude to you, and it may be quite difficult to deliver such language for the first time. You should remember that you are constantly creating a scene or environment, one pleasurable to both of you.

"Resume kneel (or Display)" by using this command, your sub/slave should lift their body and settle back onto their buttocks. You must continuously be aware that they are blindfolded and, to some extent, vulnerable to loss of balance. Be prepared to assist them into position. They should again be offering their genitals to you. It is a good time to stroke their body. Use your hands to caress and massage them, be aware that at this point their shoulders will already be beginning to ache from a position they are not used to - massage at and around the joints while talking to them softly. Take your time to make the touch sensual. When you have touched all of their torso and arms, return to their nipples and pinch them lightly.

After doing this several times, ask the sub/slave how many clothespins they have. The sub/slave may know if you have had them assemble and present possible toys for use. If so, they should instantly answer "three Mistress/Master!" If you have assembled your toys outside of their viewpoint (a personal choice differing from individual to individual and often depending on the desired scenario), then they will not know the answer, in which case they should say "I do not know, Mistress/Master." Their responses should be prompt, humble, and in a serious tone of voice. Laughter during a scene can be indicative of nervousness and lack of respect, as well as inexperience. Any breach of protocol during the scene should be instantly reprimanded. "I have three clothespins, slave. What do you think I should do with them?" Such a question is more to heighten the anxiety and excitement in the sub/slave than to elicit an answer. You may receive any number of interesting and funny answers. After all, two clothespins are obvious - three are not. [grins]. (This is described by some people as a mind fuck, it is an action to keep the sub/slave slightly off balance.) As play commences, you may notice it becoming more and more difficult for your sub/slave to answer you. This is a normal condition which you should allow for, you will learn the 'speed' of your sub/slave the more you play with them.

Continuing to tweak the sub/slaves' nipples, you should begin to pull and twist them lightly. You can clamp them without notice or verbal warning, or you can have the sub/slave count down from say ten. The initial clamping is painful, but the pain subsides rather quickly. (For virgin players, leave them on no more than 7-8 minutes) Then you should have fun with the "extra" clamp. You may decide to migrate 'testing' spots all over the sub/slave's body. Don't forget to have them stick out their tongue for testing, too (somewhat more painful). As you proceed lower and lower on their body, you approach their vulnerable genitals.

Every so often, remember to 'brush' the clamps on the nipples. This re-sensitizes them, and you will be rewarded with moans. At this point, your new sub/slave's knees will be getting tired too, so you know even if they do not that you are near the end of this portion of your scene. Trail the loose clothespin down the stomach and around the genitals. With a female, you may decide to clamp one of her labia lips (this is generally not too painful). Do not clamp the clit on first play - it can be extremely painful, far too soon for many sub/slaves. For a male slave, you can pull out the skin on his penis and clamp, or move lower to clamp the skin of his scrotum. You may sit back and say something like "Do you like that pet?" You may desire to brush all three clamps again to cause them to moan again.

At this point, you are probably out of time with the nipple clamps. Do tell your sub/slave, "This may hurt a little bit!" This can be done while you are unclamping them. Note that unclamping is the most painful part. Be careful to lift the clamp free of the skin and not drag it. It may stick and be indented, and your sub may be moving. They may scream lightly. After removing the second nipple clamp, you may massage the nipples lightly (this is quite painful) for the blood to return. Again, you might say, "Oh... does that hurt?" "Oh, I almost forgot, there is one clamp left, isn't there...?" Since the third clamp has only been on for a shorter time, you might brush it a few times, allowing your sub/slaves' anxiety over its removal to increase. When you know they are near their limit, reach down so they know you are going to release the clamp. Again, be careful to separate the clamp from the skin with your fingers - the touch will be uncomfortable to their tender skin, but much better than any tears in the skin itself. After the initial shock of removal has subsided, move immediately to alter their position.

Unclip their wrist cuffs from the collar if so attached. Lower the arm very slowly with your hands, massage the muscles, and make sure their mobility returns in a normal way. Do the same with the other arm. Now it is time to get them off their knees.

The scene to this point may have taken nearly 1.5 hours. Your sub/slave may need to go to the bathroom, or they may have difficulty walking or standing. Attach a leash to their collar. You may order them to "crawl." In general, this command can be used for a full belly crawl or a knee/palm crawl. Be careful of furniture, for they are blind. If the floor is dirty, you may comment to them that until it is cleaned properly, they will be led in a crawl at all times, for its condition displeases you. This is a way of cross-training - an opportunity.

The bathroom offers a new arena for continuing play. If you are in your submissive's home and it is untidy or unclean, it can be unsanitary and unpleasant. A strong indication from you on your expectations of cleanliness can be reinforced by forcing your new sub/slave to crawl through the untidiness. If you are in your home and it is untidy, then you are subjecting them to unwarranted cruelty. You can tell them that in the future, before playing, you expect them to attend to household cleanliness. The sub/slave must have a reasonable expectation of playing in a safe, clean environment. It depends on your desired realm of future contact.

(Note that every situation is different, your language and choices will vary depending on both you, your sub/slave, and the conditions where you play!)

This is the conclusion of part two.

Creating Your First Scene - Part 3

continued from part two

(Please read parts one and two before reading this section.)

WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

Good antibacterial soap, washcloth.

OPTIONAL:

Safe sex items if your play proceeds into that area, remember to include dental dams, condoms, condom's etc.

(The bathroom and indeed the intimacies of attending maintenance can provide opportunities different from any other space. For reasons of safety and health, I will limit the scene here to observation and direction only.)

"Stand or Informal Display," this command tells your sub/slave to rise from the crawl position to stand. Their feet should be spread shoulder width apart, arms behind their back, crossed at the wrists, shoulders up and back, and chin lifted. (It resembles the common 'parade rest' military position.) Again, remembering that s/he is blindfolded, you may wish to direct them into a better position. You can do this easily by saying "Right step... right step... stop Pivot... forward, etc." Your sub/slave will be quite nervous and probably terribly embarrassed. You should tell them in advance of the meeting that you might 'require' them to provide service maintenance performance under observation and direction. (Maintenance means to maintain your (sub/slaves) body to your standards, including cleanliness, grooming, and evacuation.)

With a female sub/slave, you will have her sit upon the commode. "Open!" This command tells her to open her genitals. Her knees should open as wide as possible in the space. Again, you might offer commentary on how wet she is; usage of language often enhances the intensity of the play experience for both players. "Open wider!" This command can be used to tell your sub/slave to reach between her legs and open her vagina wider using her fingers. (If you have a strong desire to complete this type of sequence, then you may have instructed your sub/slave to drink a large quantity of water, soda, or tea before the scene time [smiles].) Assuming that your sub/slave is 'needing release', you may decide on a simple release "release!" or you may tell her to "release and stop!" This is a bedevil command [smiles], once trained, it can be enormously fun. IF your sub/slave can manage to stop the flow, you might tell her to stimulate her clit using one finger and continue while you turn 'on and off' the tap "release and stop!" [grins]. (Note: many female sub/slaves can learn this easily and come enormously hard by releasing both sensations at the same time. It does take practice, but that practice can be fun.)

With a male sub/slave, you will position him in front of the commode. Again, two obvious choices present themselves. You can elect to handle his penis yourself, not allowing him to touch it (often forbidden during the scene). Or, you can tell him to hold his penis in his hand. Remember that he is blindfolded and cannot see the target [grins]. You can instruct him that he is positioned exactly in front of the commode and that he is not to make a mess by splashing onto anything else. If so, you will command him to stop and adjust position (as many times as it takes to get it right). Note that it is very hard for males to stop and start the flow. Again, use the command "release!" Your sub/slave may release, may miss, and may be unable to stop [grins]. If so, you can direct the angle by saying something like "to the right . . . more . . . more." This can be entertaining and humiliating. You should tell your sub/slave in advance of the meeting that you might require this from them, so that there is some mental preparation. When completed, if he has made a mess, you should tell him that he needs further training to correct his directional control problems and that he has now earned the task of thoroughly cleaning the bathroom area.

This can commence immediately or be saved for a later time at your discretion. After this section of the scene, you may commend your new sub/slave on how pleased you are with their efforts to please you. You should have them wash their hands thoroughly using a good antibacterial soap. You may also desire them to provide further maintenance by thoroughly washing their genitals in front of you. If so, you should remove the blindfold to allow them to see what they are doing clearly. At this point, you may be desiring some personal attention from your sub/slave. You lead them back into the room using the leash to your position of choice, generally sitting.

If you are a male dominant, you may desire to have your sub/slave remove portions of your clothing. (Many Dominants get strongly sexually aroused during play, and this article presumes the prior full consent of both adults.) At this point, you may have your sub/slave "worship". This command tells the sub/slave to 'kiss only' a designated portion of the Dominant's body (and sometimes clothing like boots on the Domme's). The sub/slave continues worship until told to stop. If this activity is expected to take a long time, then you should first tell your sub/slave to "rest in the position." This command indicates to them that they are not required to assume a formal position during worship, but may be in a more comfortable position to better serve their Mistress/Master. The command "relaxed" is also sometimes used.

From this point, the Dominant may desire full sexual contact, or the 'scene' may be over. For this article, I will end this section here.

Following this section is a summary - please take the time to read it carefully!

This is the conclusion of part three.

Creating Your First Scene

SUMMARY

This summary should be read after all other sections have been read.

This scene was designed to be simple, affordable, easy to understand, and easy to execute. It was created to show a variety of common situations and how to handle them through language, command, and direction.

WHAT IF?

What if your sub/slave becomes emotionally distraught during the scene?

If your sub/slave becomes distraught at any time, in scene or out, then you should cease all activity, offer comfort, and attempt to discover what triggered their outburst. If they need medical attention - get it!

What if your sub/slave becomes injured during the scene, faints, has a heart attack, etc.?

The safety and health of the submissive/slave is the Dominant's primary concern. If at any time that is in question, immediately seek help. A Dominant should request a good medical briefing on all aspects of their sub/slaves' health prior to agreeing to any play, and they should have a good working knowledge of the closest medical facility to the location of the scene. And, they should know their sub/slave's medical insurance info in case their sub/slave is incapacitated and cannot speak for themselves.

Why did the Dominant not use a belt?

Many submissive/slaves emerge from backgrounds of abuse - often they have strong associations with a belt and many other common objects. Discovering such triggers 'in scene' is very traumatic for both dominant and submissive. Ample discussions of any prior abuse should occur before any thought of play commences.

Why does the scene appear somewhat sterile and cold? Is there no romance possible between the Dominant and the submissive?

During a scene, a level of detachment is often necessary on the part of the Dominant to 'carry off' the nature of the scene and roles. This 'gap' can seem cold in some ways, but often it is merely the Dominant remaining very, very aware of every detail ongoing in the scene. This is important for the safety and enjoyment of the submissive as well. Many submissives enjoy and desire the objectification and feeling of usage. They want, need, and totally desire to feel under control!!

Romantic tending, nurturing, and care exchange should occur pre-scene and may include stage setting such as candles, low lights, soft music, food, drinks, and foreplay in many other forms.

What happens after the scene?

After any scene, the sub/slave will require ample aftercare. These are cuddling, nurturing, caressing, and comforting words. The Dominant should express language of the level of their pleasure in the sub/slave's efforts during the scene and compliment them. There should be ongoing touching and reassurance, a demonstration of the deep value the Dominant places in their sub/slaves, offering or gift. This aftercare can take many hours, depending on the depth of the scene.

What should the Dominant do if the sub/slave does not obey the commands?

Some sub/slave's desire to resist. Before any scene at any time, the Dominant and the sub/slave should set up a safe word and have a thorough discussion of known limits. If, during the scene, the sub/slave yells out no! And, knowing that their safe word is really "red", then the Dominant knows that the sub/slave wishes or is asking to be further disciplined in the scene. Please note that force is impossible. BDSM is about Safe, Sane, and Consensual play between legal adults. The usage of the safe word allows the sub to 'get out' of the scene if they are in real trouble. The usage of disobedience as part of play is not an example of abuse or force. The Dominant and submissive should discuss this in detail prior to commencing play. If such activity occurs, then the Dominant may "dismiss" the disobedient sub/slave, ending the scene, or "discipline" through encouragement via swats if so agreed and desired by both.