04 Slave Training (BDSM) [EN] 06 Sexual Training

The sexual relationship between a Master and a slave is different from most other sexual relationships. In a healthy and satisfying relationship between Master and slave, both partners achieve the greatest pleasure from the Master's arousal and his or her way of satisfying her.

Their interaction can be very intimate and affectionate, but it is not based on equality or reciprocity. Establish this with your slave from the beginning. Make sure she understands that her sexual satisfaction is not a "right" but a privilege, and that in any case, it is not for her pleasure but for yours. This is not a foreign idea to the slave, and in most cases, giving you pleasure is your slave's greatest desire.

However, it is wise to establish this idea as a basis for both of you and for the encounter with the slave. Don't allow her to think about her own needs for satisfaction; instead, you must take control of those needs and don't allow her to manipulate this issue. Give her satisfaction as abundantly as her behavior merits. Don't let her feel so frustrated that it compromises the relationship or her submission.

In the negotiation stage of the relationship with the slave, clarify when and under what circumstances she may refuse sexual service (i.e., illness, etc.). Also, determine how she will communicate this to you. A slave should ask permission to be relieved of this duty (or any other, for that matter) and never simply take it for granted. The slave should understand that she may be called upon to perform new or possibly uncomfortable sexual acts, but she should be reassured that your intention is not to harm her physically or emotionally.

Although "sex on demand" seems absolutely natural in a Master/slave relationship, it raises some questions. Don't confuse the words "control" and "force." Rape is a fantasy topic and is never acceptable for a Master. Even if your slave has agreed in advance that she is not allowed to reject you, forcing herself is rape, and rape is always a crime. BDSM is a consensual practice. Rape by someone who trusts you does not make you a Master—it makes you a criminal, and a slave who is a victim of rape should leave the relationship and pursue any legal demands they deem appropriate.

• Note: In my experience in the BDSM community, I have encountered many cases of submissives/slaves who have been sexually abused as children or adults. If you have been abused, make sure each of your partners is aware before entering a relationship. While many abuse survivors have dealt with their emotional pain and enter BDSM legitimately, many enter this world without having resolved this issue. For these, BDSM can become a negative experience and can exacerbate their emotional issues. It is unwise and unfair to use BDSM as therapy, or as a "temporary" method of dealing with emotional trauma. Your Master is not your therapist, and the BDSM community is not a "therapy group.”

In all likelihood, your slave, by the time she surrenders to you, will have had several sexual encounters and will have a relatively "standard" method of approaching them. For that reason, you will need to tailor it to your specific desires, those things you find most pleasurable, and those you find unpleasant. Both you and her should think of this relationship as your first—and accept the need for training in this area as much as any other. Fortunately, sexuality training is absolutely enjoyable for the Master, and there are few problems with scheduling sessions for this "practice." Unfortunately, when sexually aroused, a Master is less likely to think about the details of what his slave is doing and more inclined to fly off the handle at that moment.

At all times, try "from a distance" to see what is happening with your slave's training. You may or may not lose your erection, but that is of little importance when it comes to training. Teach your slave exactly how you want her to use her body, her hands, her mouth. Show her how to position herself for easier access. You may also want to teach her how to respond. In some cases, the slave's natural responses should be calmed; in other cases, she will need to work hard to let go. In all cases, she should know what level of response is most pleasing to you—although a slave should never "fake" a response. Find out how your slave reacts and enhance her reactions to suit your needs.eeds.

• Buy a dildo that's close in size and shape to your own penis so the slave can practice oral techniques. (By watching her do this, you can learn how she does it, set standards, or stimulate her.)
   
• Also use a dildo for penetration. Position it as if it were attached to you, so the slave can learn the most effective positions and how to assume them quickly, so as not to interfere with important moments.
   
• Teach your slave how to stay focused on you, rather than lost in her own arousal. Stimulate her if you notice her performance becoming more technical than passionate, and stop stimulation if her passion causes her to forget the technique.
   
• Assign tasks to the slave to prepare. There are many books and websites that cover sexual techniques. The slave should consult them. Have her research a particular topic and then demonstrate that she has learned.
   
• "Criticism" of the person is not good. Unless you have a slave who enjoys this type of dialogue, "criticism" of a slave's behavior is more productive than criticism of the slave itself. But don't be afraid of criticism. It's fair to criticize the person rather than allow the slave to continue doing something you don't like, to spare her uncomfortable feelings, since she won't want this either.

It is quite normal within the BDSM community to expect a slave to ask permission to have an orgasm. This reminds the slave that even in the greatest moments of pleasure, her sexuality belongs to her Master and not at her discretion.

• Your slave should ask in full sentences and loud enough to be heard. The act of constructing a sentence and posing the question reinforces that her pleasure is subject to her Master's whims. (I have encountered women who "lose the ability" to speak in certain sexual situations. A slave can usually overcome this inability when she strongly desires an orgasm. However, if a slave is honest and cannot articulate words, look for a signal that lets you know what she desires. The signal should be forceful enough, such as a sentence. Raising a finger is not a request.)
   
• Don't overdo it. There will be times when you will want to exhaust your slave with orgasms, but you can also occasionally deny them. A sexually stimulated slave is a more attentive and submissive creature. Teach your slave that arousal is not the same as orgasm.
   
• In the early stages of training, your slave may make mistakes. Devise a method to punish your slave if she orgasms without permission. Corporal punishment is not a good option here. By spanking your slave during moments of arousal, you are training her to associate pain and pleasure—something you may wish to teach her, but not in this situation. You can spend 24 hours stimulating the slave to the point of orgasm without allowing her to orgasm. Verbally express your disappointment. Find a punishment that works for both of you, and make her follow the rules in all cases.

Many slaves can be trained to orgasm at their Master's request—with a word or gesture. The training method is quite simple, but it typically takes several months of practice for the slave to achieve their goal. (Not all slaves are capable of this—it is easier to achieve with those who have multiple orgasms. This kind of training is more "fun" than a necessary component of a slave's service.)

• Start by training the slave to orgasm upon request in sexual situations. When you have fully mastered her training in this area, begin stimulating her in non-sexual situations (i.e., driving, etc.). Manipulate her with your hand until she asks you to orgasm, and initially, allow her to do so every time.
   
• After a while, wait several seconds to a minute before giving her permission to orgasm. Continue the stimulation for that amount of time, and then give her permission.
   
• When you see that she has achieved this wait, deny her permission to orgasm and remove your hand. Combine this with granting or denying permission and continuing with the stimulation.
   
• Next, command her to orgasm immediately after removing your hand. At this point, she will be orgasming without direct contact. Lengthen the time between contact stimulation and the slave's orgasm.
   
• You can command her to orgasm a while after the stimulation has ceased. You can then command her to orgasm before you stimulate her (if this doesn't work, repeat the steps and try again). A slave trained to orgasm on command can reach orgasm anytime, anywhere, and can even walk down the street without missing a step during orgasm.

In most cases, it is inappropriate to initiate a slave into sex using traditional methods. It will give her the idea that she is on an equal footing with you in this area. However, a slave has physical desires like anyone else; it is a good idea to talk to her about how she should express those desires. I have given my slave three positions she can assume without command to indicate to me that she desires sex.

All three positions expose her in such a way that she is making an invitation, which may or may not be accepted. Two of the positions expose her genitals, forcing her to open them and offer them. The third is an exhibition of her open mouth, indicating her desire to serve me orally.

Insist on the use of these positions (or any others you can devise) or have her "ask" for sex in a non-traditional way. Slaves should not be "comfortable" with the gestures; it may be difficult for them to expose themselves in this way. However, this is ACCEPTABLE; Don't order these postures to make the request and then allow them to ignore them.

Whatever you desire in the case of third parties within the Master/slave relationship, you must fully agree with the slave before any training even begins. If there is a possibility of you being with someone else (or that you are going to ask her to be with someone else), your slave should know this. Even if she agrees, don't expect multiple relationships to be easy. Your slave will need to feel absolutely safe during encounters with third parties. You must be willing to find a way to reassure her that the relationship remains the same, while at the same time remaining firm in this aspect of the relationship. In my case, I have agreed to and remain firm in my choice to seek out and have sexual encounters with other women. My slave has accepted and tries to overcome this, but she often struggles with it, simply because she needs to feel reassured by my dedication to her in those moments. My slave's sexual duties are for me alone, and she is not allowed to engage in any type of sexual scene with others without my permission. My slave obeys this order.

As Master, I have my own boundaries, and for now, they do not include monogamy. My personal choice has always been to inform my slave of any upcoming sexual encounters and include her in them, but she knows it is not something she should count on or consider a right.

Offer her emotional support where you can. Go the extra mile if necessary. You are responsible for her emotional well-being, but at the same time, encourage her to understand her role. Allow her to help you prepare for the encounter, drawing your bath, preparing the house, and preparing the meal. If possible, have your slave attend to your guest in a similar way, preparing her for you. This may be difficult for the slave, but you will have time during the preparation to put her at ease and let her see how much her help means to you.

It must be said that this isn't for everyone. Some people find anal play unpleasant. Some consider it extremely kinky, but it's not a necessary part of slave training, any more than any other section in this guide. Ultimately, you must decide what's right for you and your slave and determine the course of training.

Secondly, (and this goes without saying), do it SAFELY. (As in any other area of ​​BDSM, a submissive who feels she's being treated without sufficient safety precautions should stop and leave the situation immediately.)

Do not use objects in anal training that were not designed for this purpose. Using household items, food products, etc. is dangerous. (Reputable adult toy stores have a large selection of anal play products.)

Take it slow. (Remember John Cleese's warning in The Meaning of Life, "Should you rush into the clitoris? Have you heard of front play?")

Patience. This is a very emotionally charged exercise for many people.

Slaves who are new to anal play should be treated with great emotional caution and a certain amount of compassion. Over time, such caution will not be necessary when the slave knows that this will be a part of her life, and this familiarity will help her overcome feelings of vulnerability and shame.

When my slave surrendered to me, she had experienced anal play on several occasions before, but she had not overcome (and still has not) the feelings of vulnerability, shame, and mortification associated with the process of this training. This is a great tool in any case. Anal play can be used as punishment, as humiliation, or simply as a method to remind her of my control over her. For the slave who has overcome social conditioning based on guilt and shame, the emotional effects will be less evident.

In the case of anal training, some emotional effects are desirable. You may often rejoice in seeing your slave ask to be used anally, yet feel embarrassed by it. Anal training should not be so frequent that the slave becomes comfortable with this part of her duties. It is a fine balance, and you must assess your slave's submission and mental health before exploring this area of ​​training. Throughout the relationship, it is assumed that the slave is familiar with the subject and that you will have a fair amount of trust between you. If not, you must earn that trust before beginning this training.

From original site "BDSM Canarias" [BDSM Canary Islands], this is a portion of the article “Manual de Adiestramiento" [Training Manual] URL http://www.bdsmcanarias.es/textos/Manual_de_Adiestramiento.htm