Monogamy

Social & Sexual Monogamy ~

Monogamy

The condition of having a single mate at one time.

We often consider monogamy as related to sexual partnership, when the most common form of monogamy relates to a bonded couple who are socially monogamous, most frequently joined for the better survival of young human children. In modern terms, the partners in this relationship will identify, directly or overtly, their responsibility to the life, finances, and happiness or welfare of one partner. This type of overt promise, although most frequently verbally attached to an oath of sexual fidelity, is actually held within a separate oath or covenant of support for the needs and welfare of the bonded unit and, by extension, any offspring or children held within that unit (not necessarily offspring of the bonded couple).

The attachment of a sexually limiting covenant has been presented for centuries as representative of the 'normal' human model, or a formalization of the 'natural' processes, desires, and needs of the mating and bonding practices of human beings. Some consider the creation and sustainment of this covenant as paramount to the retention of the overt social promise or oath of monogamy.

A violation of this sexual covenant has long been held as sufficient to vacate the superior oath or promise of long-term support necessary to give the children within this sustained unit the best possible opportunity for a positive outcome into adulthood. This traditionally places great weight or importance on the issue of 'sexual monogamy' by the bonding pair within the relationship.

There is a growing body of evidence that true or absolute sexual monogamy is extremely rare, even among socially monogamous species. (Such as from the Journal of Science - AP-NY-09-25-98 0130EDT) It is estimated that as high as 90% of socially monogamous species are not sexually monogamous. The unified or combined state of social/sexual monogamy may be the (mentally or spiritually) 'desired' state of attainment, but evidence suggests it is not the 'natural' (bodily) state. The attachment of this covenant or promise to an oath of social monogamy creates a situation against nature or the natural tendencies of the species, providing great difficulty or a situation of biological conflict in the ability of the individuals within the agreement to meet the terms of this aspect of the agreement. This potentially becomes a platform for failure of the social oath.

I have noted that the oath of social monogamy is 'superior' to the secondary oath or promise of sexual fidelity. Healthy success of the offspring is 'more important' than any other aspects within a bonded partnership, though the consideration of long-term interdependent support between the partners is also very important. The attachment of a sexual fidelity covenant to the primary oath or promise of familial and long-term bonding acts to threaten the underlying stability of the family unit in favor of punitive, destructive actions against the nature or biology of the species.

The dictation of 'unnatural' sexual practices has long been used as a control tool against the population, societies, and communities of men (you can note this in historical, religious, and governmental mandates defining the sexually permissible actions of men and women). By creating a dynamic between the natural behaviors of men and women, this dictation or imposition of sexual fidelity becomes a wedge that punishes and injures both partners in the relationship, as well as devastating the offspring or children present, whose issue is the primary responsibility of the partners.

Humans desiring to create and sustain or raise children should consider entering into an agreement pertaining specifically to their choice to create a family. If they desire to mate for reproduction solely with their chosen partner, then both parties should take the necessary actions to ensure that this reproductive fidelity occurs. In this way, the risk of destruction of the primary oath or bond of creating and sustaining a family is greatly reduced, offering the best possible outcome for the children. Actions of sexual behavior should be addressed in direct, honest, and open communication, bearing in mind that long-term absolute monogamy may be impossible to attain, and deciding in a mature or responsible adult way to manage what is nature's way of diversifying the gene pool and sustaining the overall health of the species in as healthy and nondestructive a way as possible to the family. Unrealistic or unattainable behaviors that are placed in a position to undermine or destroy family units should be viewed with great caution and concern.

Overturning generations of social dictates regarding sexual practices is an uneasy process. From a personal perspective, it has long been my choice to align with partners who share a similar biological response to my own and with partners capable of clear, concise, and honest communication about their thoughts, needs, and concerns on all topics. Learning to unmake expectations and redirect energy and thought toward long-term goals of partnership, friendship, and love can serve to reduce the power of the thought and idea of 'sexual infidelity' and those concepts of control and power within the relationship.

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