Damage Control

Damage Control

Sometimes a Dominant will become involved with a submissive unlike any submissive they have met before. In this case, I am referring to a High-End Submissive. (Please see the article titled High-End Submissive)

On the surface, this submissive will appear much like any other. The Dominant may overlook minor irregularities or regard them as just the unique make-up of the individual submissive. The Dominant and submissive may willfully embark on creating a relationship. Fairly early in the relationship, the Dominant may encounter situations where the submissive becomes very aggressively Dominant. Often, the submissive will present a confusing blend of volatility coupled with pleas for help. Immediately following such an episode, the submissive will often become abjectly submissive. They will usually be unable to 'tell' the Dominant what has occurred, although the submissive usually knows. This is not to be construed as active deceit by this submissive. This is a learned response. It is a reaction to threat, danger, and a survival warning. The Dominant, having never really encountered this precise mixture before, may decide that their submissive is 'acting out' to gain attention. This may propel the Dominant into taking a more aggressive stance in 'halting' this strong posturing by the submissive.

The Dominant may decide to actively 'confront' this display using techniques such as discipline or punishment. Often, they will hardly recognize their submissive in the person who challenges them. Heated words are sometimes exchanged. This expression of extreme displeasure on the part of the Dominant will devastate the submissive. S/he will often seek to 'solve' the problem by releasing more of her/his tightly held barriers, often forcing themselves deeper into space. This is the submissive's supreme gift to the Dominant. However, when the submissive takes these steps and opens wider, his/her defensive personae see more and more danger. This propels more frequent and stronger displays if the Dominant maintains the discipline/punishment response. Again, the submissive cannot usually articulate to the Dominant what is really happening. For many submissives, there is an underlying belief that the 'right' Dominant will 'know'. Will 'see', will 'understand'. It is the presence of submissives' greatest secret and treasure.

This process can continue until the submissive's core is fully exposed. At this point, the Dominant may see the real depth of this submissive. This is not a voluntary submission that is easily accepted, but a submission to the very core of the soul. Few Dominants desire or can embrace the total submissive. At this point, it is not uncommon for the Dominant to step away—aware, terribly contrite, and feeling helpless to help this unique submissive.

Here are a few traits of a High-End Submissive. S/he will enter space easily and quickly. S/he can ride the Dominant's energy stream, which may seem like an almost telepathic response to the Dominant's desires. The submissive may appear to 'know' where the Dominant wants them to go. This submissive's orientation is generally overtly toward giving to others. The Dominant may notice this submissive becomes submissive very quickly and often borders the edges of space.

 

Once the defensive personae has been breached, the submissive is fully exposed, and a level of extreme vulnerability exists. Within the most natural chain of events, a submissive would release their defenses or withdraw their walls into their Dominant. In a sense, the Dominant 'becomes' this fabricated personality and replaces the defensive personae as the active protector and defender of the core. When this chain breaks, when the Dominant accidentally reveals this vulnerable core and realizes that this is a submissive that they had no intent on discovering. Or if that Dominant acknowledges that they have no true desire to become a full life mate to a complete submissive, then the 'natural' solution becomes unavailable. The exposed submissive is, to some extent, left facing their worst nightmare. Without the assistance of their defensive personae and coupled to the reality that they are not bonded to or attached to the Dominant who has 'taken' them, they may feel they are exposed to any Dominant.

This creates a sensation of personal terror. With some submissives, the first desire will be to 'fill the void', find someone to 'hear' so that all of the voices diminish in strength around them again. This can lead to enormous judgment errors as the submissive will literally be in a state of panic and, therefore, to some extent, incompetent in making sound judgments. This submissive will 'hear' any Dominant around them with the same full, unique focus that is their true birthright. They know that it leaves them vulnerable to being taken by literally any strong Dominant. This submissive is usually quite intelligent and has no desire to submit to involuntary coupling to a person they may dislike, disrespect, or even hate.

The first thing this submissive needs to do is reduce contact. This is contact with everyone. An active choice must be made to create a window of time and space to rebuild the barriers that mask or hide the core. If this submissive is active in the community, this may be extremely difficult and painful. The Dominant involved in this situation, if they are of quality, will be actively determined to aid this submissive in these repairs. This Dominant may need to present the illusion of being coupled to this submissive for a period of time to prevent other Dominants from actively pursuing this submissive in their most vulnerable state.

The submissive may believe that their barriers are totally gone. This is not true. The mind of the human being tends to have very good survival skills. The defensive persona, to some extent, does need to be resurrected. The submissive has demonstrated the ability to create these defenses quite effectively in the past; this means they retain that same ability in the present. Defenses are created through need. This submissive is literally an expert at traversing what we call subspace. This subspace is quite similar in some regards to levels that the brain may achieve through hypnosis and meditation. This can mean that the submissive can use similar techniques to strengthen themselves.

In a sense, what the submissive created in the past was a projected Dominant presence. This is a significant part of themselves. Penetration of the barrier can scatter this unified persona, but not truly destroy it. The submissive needs to actively collect this 'negative' strength around them again. The reduction of contact is the beginning. Following that, the submissive should find a peaceful place to relax. This may be in a comfortable chair in front of a window with a nice view. S/he should concentrate on relaxing and gathering strength. The concept or idea of collecting energy or strength around your core is generally enough to allow your mind to make it so. The need is real, so the mind tends to 'solve' the problem. In addition, the submissive should seek out and engage in a strong exercise routine. Exercise releases blood chemistries and is or tends to be relentlessly monotonous, which is exactly the type of exercise that the submissive should engage in. This also improves the functioning of the body and brain; the submissive may tend to feel 'good' after a workout, both about themselves and their actions. This is a positive step! This would be something like Yoga, running, stair master, bicycling, etc. The submissive should actively imagine or image this alter ego. The idea that the submissive is pouring strength into this persona will cause it to happen.

These simple meditative practices work. The submissive should also direct themselves to block out the emanations of Dominants. This can be done by entering space and simply repetitively telling your inner self that you can not and will not 'hear' all Dominants. If the submissive believes that they can resist, then they will resist, at least as much as they have ever done. What they are doing is reconstructing personal belief!!! All of these efforts are dependent on the amount of work the submissive does to manage or rebuild their defenses. They should recognize that this event may make future relationships even more difficult, as their level of personal fear will have grown. They should develop ways to communicate more effectively with their Dominant in the early stages so that they can avoid similar problems. This is a teeter-totter with risks on both sides.

Oh, what the Dominant could have done to prevent this in the beginning? The Dominant, facing this type of submissive, should, to some extent, woo the defensive personae. This is to encourage the defender to trust the Dominant, too. This is done through consistent, trustworthy actions. The submissive needs to feel safe; if s/he does, the world beckons!!! Will you be there for your submissive if they offer you their true self?

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