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Where is the Sex?
Have you wondered where the intense, explosive sexual experience is? It appears we have been robbed! The Puritans have landed right smack dab in the middle of downtown BDSM'ville. Here they come, handing out chastity pamphlets and celibacy badges which proclaim the beneficial attributes of sexual abstinence and deprivation. They have found the rule-book, you see, the one some fool left resting next to the dumpster out back of the club. The book has the answer, the way to strip away the rampant beastly monster of sexuality, polish up the lifestyle into something downright presentable to your pious Mother. They hurriedly ran millions of copies of 'The Book' and raced out into the community, joyous and exultant, to pass these gems out to every passerby. BDSM you see, isn't really so bad, the misfits dressing up in black leather were just playing dress up like kids in a school play, those whips and chains oh those are really no problem, discipline is a wonderful thing, look how bad the world has become without such necessary discipline, the really important thing is that it is all about power exchange, and not about sex. See, it says it right here, in this passage I have highlighted especially for you, "BDSM scening is not about sex".
Now, if you come to me and ask me, "Where is the sex?" I can tell you that BDSM is really not about sex; it is about service and submission, and then I shake my head and chastise you that your hard-on or drippy pussy is a travesty, disrespectful of the dignity of true believers. I will point out to you the passage that states that only newbies think BDSM is about great sex. Once you are 'IN', privy to the hidden secrets, then you will know that sex isn't really important. In fact, the removal of sex from scening is the ultimate in BDSM, the pinnacle experience. It is all about the exchange. So, newbie, you have to get in there and study really hard until your sex drive wilts and shrivels into nice, correct, and proper dysfunction. You have to keep the whips and paddles in their proper place and not get them all mixed up with sex. After all, I repeat, The Book clearly says, BDSM scening is not about sex.
Someone once told me, "Control reproduction, control the species." Since this was a really bright person who had earned my love and respect in spades, I always paid particular attention when they spoke. Everywhere I look, I see the echoes of this simple truth, the manner in which my species, and in particular my gender, has been utterly manipulated and controlled by simply controlling the actions related to reproduction. There is only one species on this planet that even considers the idea that the natural actions of reproduction are ill, evil, or sinful: humans. It is a weakness to enjoy the sensations of the flesh. This chokehold has strangled and drained the natural expressions between humans until dysfunction has become the norm. We are told to suppress our biology, our nature, don't enjoy, don't need, don't succumb to the temptations.
So many have fled. Run away from their traditions, their religions, their families in desperate search for an answer which doesn't impale them upon the spear of sin and evil for the feelings, desires, and needs of simply being human and being alive.
Sex is intertwined with reproduction, creation of life itself. Within this powerful structure lies the fountain of human energy; it is the nuclear power plant of the body, the mind, the spirit. It is by accessing 'creative energy' that poets write poetry, musicians compose music, and painters summon beauty. We write about love, passion, our longings, hopes, and dreams. These are the expressions of sexual creative energy outward into our world. And when we read these poems, hear this music, see these masterpiece paintings, there rises an echo within us, a siren ache within our deepest recesses that tells us of this river of exquisite dimension and perfection just beyond this barrier within us. And, this is a human, the creator, imaginer, inspired human. This is who we are, at our very best.
BDSM is a means to interface directly with this creative source, a pathway to reduce or remove the barrier structures within the mind that restrict, cage, or enslave the spirit. It is all about sex, sexual energy, and accessing the parts of the self that are normally inaccessible. It is all about arousing the mind and body and then subjecting both to total conscious and directed control. It is to paint with the body, write poetry on the soul, summon music where no instrument but the self can be heard. It is all about an intimacy more profound than words can manage. It is all about going across those thresholds, those restrictions and barriers, those long-held terrors and fears. It is all about touching that exquisite river, tasting forbidden sweetness, being truly, wholly, alive. It is all about embracing our own simple humanity and finding that humanity wonderful.
So, where is the sex? Right here. And all the Puritans in the world cannot make me believe, think, or imagine that being whole as a human being requires this removal of my human sexuality. Sure, I can engage in a scene without physical orgasmic release, but I know that the energy fields I am immersed in are very sexual, and I know that sexual release is just beyond that horizon, that it is healthy and joyous, robust and wonderful. It is that moment when you flow into the stream itself, become part of the fabric of creative energy. There are times and places when engaging in sex is perhaps inappropriate or downright forbidden, a time to retire to the privacy of one's own life to truly express the joy and wonder that you have summoned.
So, I guess BDSM won't be making the grade, will never quite measure up to the Puritanical perfection standards of sexual dysfunction. Sexual deprivation, abstinence, restraint, sounds like the same old songs to me; wasn't that what we were leaving behind back there in our past? Drippy pussy and hard-on's sure do make the leather smell good again.
Oh, and one more thing, do remember to toss that book inside the dumpster on your way out.
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