Theatrical Titles

Theatrical Titles

The S/m lifestyle is full of titles. Ceremonial forms of address, which often allude to or denote behavior as well. These titles are often designed to signal or suggest to others what 'mode of address' the individual should be treated to, what level of deference might be appropriate, and how much respect one should offer or not offer that individual. These titles also create 'limitations' based on what type of conversation is appropriate or otherwise direct us toward shaping the content of our conversations in directions that are constrained by the given limitations suggested in the title.

Titles are 'given' or used to describe events that occurred in the past. They may indicate a level of proficiency in a specific arena and are often barriers to engagement of the individual in any type of 'contest' within that area of noted expertise.

To some degree, you can say that taking on the title of Dominant is a means the individual uses to negate future challenge to acceptance of that individual as a Dominant, although you will find ongoing challenge to such self-anointed titles and sometimes the behavior of people who consider the existence of any title as justification to remove, damage, destroy, or injure the party so named.

If a title has come into existence as the outcome of an event, then the title exists separately or is indicative of a challenge, contest, or action already completed. It means that the individual is not involved in this particular challenge NOW. In this way, titles relate to an individual's past, not their present or future.

The presentation of a title is often used to create and sustain a presentation of personal power. A person 'with title' is often expected to be held in esteem, for others to yield to them or withdraw from opposition to them or otherwise conform to their will and direction-- within the specific arena in which they hold this title.

As an example, a person titled as a Dominant might reasonably expect this 'title' to garner for them expressions of respect, esteem, yielding behaviors, compliance, and obedience within the arena of a D/s interaction, relationship, or event.

If you speak about a person being 'powerful', you are generally speaking about the outcome of what that person has done in the past, some 'measurable' demonstration of their strength or power within a given time frame, set of rules, and area of contest. By looking at it from this perspective, you can say that a person does not win by being powerful but becomes powerful by winning. If a person has sufficient power to 'win' prior to engaging in the contest, then what occurs is not a challenge or contest at all. After all, one is 'powerful' ONLY by the deference, compliance, and agreement of others.

In a sense, you cannot BE powerful under challenge but are only 'powerful' if you cannot be challenged. The mere act of participation in a challenge indicates non-possession of 'power'. Power is given, measured, or indicated by those viewing from an external vantage point - the audience.

In the case of the 'dominant' (as described above), the dominant has no 'power' if that power is under challenge. Their 'power' only exists when it is accepted to exist by others (such as a submissive). Without the acceptance of this external 'audience', the title or embodiment of 'power' ceases to exist.

If you look at the challenge, you can then see that when an individual, such as a submissive, challenges the possession of power of a dominant, they are indicating specifically that the dominant (from their viewpoint) is not in possession of power or title. If the dominant participates in that challenge, then the dominant is 'agreeing' with the assessment of the submissive that they do not possess the power to refrain from the challenge.

The dominant does not 'overcome' the challenge of the submissive within the relationship and will make no effort to coerce, impose, or force the submissive to do what the dominant wishes. If the dominant 'does' this, then they demonstrate that they are not 'strong' or in possession of power. The dominant IS strong if the dominant can allow the submissive to do as they wish within the course of the dominant's interaction with them.

The submissive must 'overcome' the resistance within themselves in order to accept the possession of power of the dominant.

A dominant does not 'oppose' the actions of the submissive but initiates actions that are designed in a manner or way that will encourage the submissive to initiate their own action.

You could say that how 'submissive' an individual might be (might) be measured by how much resistance within themselves they are able to overcome to the challenge within themselves of accepting the possession of power in others.

If the challenge remains solely within the submissive, then the dominant retains title or does not engage or view the challenge to exist in relation to their position within the relationship.

It becomes important to note that the 'title' dominant or submissive used here ONLY exists within the framework of the specific 'context of interaction we understand to be D/s. You would not be 'dominant or submissive' to anyone who was not 'relating' to you within the specific framework of those terms. Or, you cannot be (a title) without the acceptance of others - you can only be YOU. In this way, titles are 'theatrical'.

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